Friday, July 13, 2012
Why Am I Still Up???
The time is 1:37am here in beautiful Audubon, Pennsylvania. As I sit here looking at the clock, I feel my eyes getting heavy, and my body craving sleep. I'm a working mom of 5 who gets up every morning by no later than 6:00am. I am currently, not by choice but by necessity, co-sleeping with a nursing 20 month old who spends all night attached to me, while I lay in some strange uncomfortable positions, afraid that any movement might wake her. On an average night, I probably get only about 2 hours of uninterrupted sleep. I spend a good deal of my day running from one task to the next, doing anything I can, to not slow down enough to let the sleep monster catch up with me. So what in the world am I doing still up????
The three youngest kids have been in bed since 9pm. The older boys pretty much fend for themselves so I don't have to worry or take care of them. So again I ask myself, "Why am I still up?" Instead of seeping, here I sit, reading emails, catching up on blogs, checking what my friends have been up to on Facebook, Pinterest, etc., etc.; I'm sure you get the picture. So WHY am I still up??? Really, I'm not doing anything productive at all. I have dishes in the sink, and the living room floor is covered with toys, but here I sit at my computer browsing the web completely exhausted, yet still I don't want to go to bed.
Every night, especially week nights, I find myself in this same exact predicament. And worst yet, every morning that I wake up, after going to sleep at such a late hour, I curse at myself under my breath for yet again, not giving myself the opportunity to catch up on some zzzzzzz's. I crawl out of my bed looking and feeling like a zombie, and then promise myself, "Tonight, you WILL finally get to bed on time. (Note: I'm not very good at keeping the promises I make to myself! Lol) And why???
The answer is simple, and I'm sure every mom out there knows what I am talking about. From the moment I awaken, I throw myself into taking care of kids, a house, a man, a job, and countless of other tasks. Every day the To Do List is longer then there are hours in the day! I eat while doing chores, make phone calls while changing diapers, I cook dinner while making sure the kids aren't killing each other. I take bathroom breaks with a 20 month old in the bathroom while a 5 year old, 12 year old, 14 year old, and 17 year old, sit outside the bathroom door because they have something so important to tell me that it cannot wait the 5 minutes that I need to go to the bathroom. Literally, my entire day is spent running around in circles trying to meet the needs of my family.
Then suddenly, the end of the day draws near. I tuck the last of the kids into bed and carefully shut the door behind me. I pause for a second or two to listen...then what do I hear??? The wonderful sound of nothing....quiet...relaxing nothing!!! It is by far, next to the first cry of a newborn baby of course, the best sound in the whole world. After soaking that lovely sound in for a few moments, I find myself prancing through my upstairs hallway like a giddy school girl! I prance down the stairs (quietly of course) with such a sense of excitement!!! Finally...the moment is here...time for some adult time...time for some "Me Time"!!! And the best part of everyone being asleep, is that I can actually start a task without any interruptions. I can read through the news, Facebook updates, catch up on my blogs, without a single "Mommy" being screamed out!!! I can even hear myself think, and then I can take those thoughts and actually turn them into ideas!!! Crazy, right??? I can actually relax and look through my favorite websites without having to look up every 2 minutes to make sure that the kids aren't getting into trouble.
So why am I not sleeping??? Because this time is my "ME TIME". Don't get me wrong, I love being a mom, and I love the craziness that is my life, but man I love the quiet that comes with the end of a day. Only trouble is, I wish I wasn't so tired....
I'm sure there's a whole lot of mom's out there tonight, feeling the same way!!!